Mel's play gives me some ideas

Mel, of Life Cycle of a Fruit Fly, contemplates visiting herself at age 15.

The problem I might have in such a case - other than a desire to not break the immutable laws of physics - is getting the younger me to pay attention. I can't speak for the whole of humanity, but whenever a group-up instructed me to listen to something they were going to stay, I paid attention for an average of 2.3 seconds per speech. Ah, the days of living as a kid before the current love of drugging our youth into bland, quiet, sameness.

Since I know I'd forget it all, my only option would be to prepare a list of things to watch out for over the coming years:

- Don’t wear the Greek fisherman's cap to the Halloween picture. Your wife will never let you live it down
- Pack up all the boxed war games, and cardboard counters. They’ll be practically extinct in 20 years, and there will be no one to play against
- Invest every penny you have into a little operation called Microsoft
- Take a break from tech stocks in 2000
- Avoid Twin Peaks
- If you saved the money you spend renting video games, you could probably meet a real person named Zelda and take her out for a lovely evening for a few hundred nights in a row.
- Play more chess against your uncle
- It may be tempting to eat coffee grounds to stay up and finish a term paper, to "see what it's like". Don't.
- Do not - as an attempt to create some sarcastic physical comedy - snort sugar. For one thing, I'm not sure there is such a thing as sarcastic physical comedy.
- Write down the entire inane saying you put on the band room blackboard, and save them for blog-filler in the 21st century.
- Sushi is amazing.
- Do not buy any article of clothing that can be described as a duster.
- Replace all your self-deprecating humour with musical parody. People won't hate it less, but it'll leave you feeling better.
- No one anywhere knows what the hell an X-Ring is, but they know $500 is too much for one
- Deck shoes are already out by the time they reach Nova Scotia
- See if you can find M_ earlier in the 90's.