If elected, I promise no more Wars of 1812

Having solved the federal deficit, crime, war, poverty and disease, the US Congress is seeking ways to allow celebrities to run for President. More specifically, they want the Constitution amended to allow someone who has been a US citizen for 20 years to run for President, not just those born in the US. If Arnold was ever elected, they'd probably make another change to let him run for more than two terms, assuming he remained a Republican. Fun though it may be to screw with the Constitution based on recent issues of People magazine, I would hope the congress has the sense to only alter this most important document in the country (if not the planet) under the most grave of circumstances. Say, if they want to stop gay people from having weddings, because it's vital to all those straight married people, like Elizabeth Taylor, that gays not be allowed to wed. Perhaps it would cause gay molecules to drift into straight people's married bedrooms, and suddenly we'd have a nation of interior designers, and no doctors, lawyers, or people in mismatched socks.

But if this legislation passes, I might just be able to run for President in 2026! If that isn't enough to make you realize it's a bad idea...